I don't tend to blog that often these days. It's a shame really because I used to love blogging. Unfortunately my time tends to be taken up with other things these days such as studying, working and just generally living life. That's a good thing though right? That's all anyone within the transgender community wants, to be able to live a normal life. It's been a dream of mine for as long as I can remember, to live a life of acceptance where people liked and respected me for who I was and not the person I pretended to be. Am I wrong therefore to feel the need to distance myself from certain aspects of the trans community?
For a while I had this dream of being an advocate for the trans movement. I thought that if only I were given the platform that I could make things better for the trans community, that I could effect real change. I saw Paris Lees and she became the kind of trans woman I wanted to be. A beautiful, strong personality who was helping things change for the better.
When I think about it real hard, when I search deep within myself I realise that maybe I was wrong. I haven't got it in me to be a part of the trans movement. I'm never going to be that person who makes change happen. There are numerous reasons for this but it's gone one o'clock in the morning so I'll perhaps blog about those reasons another day. Ultimately though, it's time for me to take a back seat and concentrate on my own life and my own future.
NOTE
[I do know people within the trans community who are effecting real change and who are excellent advocates within the trans movement. They have my utmost respect and thanks for what they do, mostly on a voluntary basis.]
As I've already stated, I'm finally living a normal life. My gender is never an issue and neither is my sexuality and that is an amazing thing, a truly amazing thing. You may laugh at that but when you've spent a life-time questioning both, to finally achieve a sense of conclusion is enough to make you weep. And maybe that's why I'm finally able to concentrate on important things, because I have conclusion and even closure.
I can remember back in the 'old days', way back in March 2008 when I first went out dressed as a woman. This was before transition, before everything. One of the girls I was with told me that it was just a stepping stone, that soon these nights out would turn to days out. I'd move on. This is me just moving on. Of course you can't get rid of me that easily. I'll still blog from time to time but I'm going to sit back, ignore what the likes of Greer and Clarkson have to say and concentrate on becoming the best me that I can be.
