Hello, me again. I know I don't post as often as I used to but I quite like this way of working my blog these days. I can remember that when I was in the midst of transition a few years ago that I'd post two or three times a week. I actually felt under pressure some times to post, as though missing a day was a sin! Now though I post when I want, or when there is actually something to post about.
So what's been happening in my world over the past two weeks? Well I've started volunteering at the nursery at a local primary school. I used to go to Highfield Hall myself over twenty years ago and it's the school I'd most like to teach at once I qualify. I just enquired by emailing the head teacher and a few days later I'd secured a voluntary placement. Now just before Christmas I got a voluntary placement at a local special needs school and I only went once. I was perhaps a bit rash in giving up so easy but I just didn't feel like I fit in there. I couldn't really connect with the pupils there because I just couldn't relate to their disabilities. At Highfield Hall it's different. The kids are all pre-school age and I feel I have more to offer them. I've been twice now and I really enjoy it. It's fascinating working with these young kids and I honestly feel good about myself that I'm giving up my own time to do it. There is method behind it though as doing the voluntary work will give me great experience for when I apply to University later on in the year.
As regards to my transition, I had my appointment at Nottingham G.I.C. last week. It was very productive in that he told me what I need to be aware of as I continue my life. I can still get prostate cancer for example and that's something I may need to tell doctors later on in life. I'll also need to get annual blood tests done and I need to keep an eye on my hormone levels. I've decided not to discharge myself from the G.I.C. just yet although I've not got another appointment with Dr Bouman booked. If I need to see him then I can but it'll be at my discretion. The reason I've not discharged myself fully from the care of the G.I.C. yet is that facial hair removal is part of the new guidelines and I'll need to still be with the G.I.C. to get that. Something that isn't in the new guidelines is Breast Augmentation which means that I could be one of the last trans patients to get B.A. on the NHS. I personally think that B.A. should be available as it's improved my life no end. I feel confident, less self-conscious and like a woman which is surely the aim of transition. Or at least one of the aims of transition!
Wednesday, 29 January 2014
Monday, 13 January 2014
Does My Future Include A GRC?
My 2nd post today! I do have quite a lot to catch up on though having not posted since before the New Year! Life in 2014 is going ok so far. College has started back after the Christmas break and I'm working a lot too which is good. One thing did happen before Christmas which wasn't very nice in that I had my purse pinched out of my bag. To cut a very long story short, I was queuing to get into a club and someone went in behind me and swiped my purse. Luckily there was no money in it so they only had my cards, etc. It was upsetting though and it's proved to be a big head ache, what with having to cancel my bank cards and sort out my driving license etc.
The reason I've mentioned my purse is that it's loss links in directly with the next stage of my transition! I filled out my application for a Gender Recognition Certificate (GRC) today. I've got my two medical reports and I've got my statutory declaration signed by a solicitor. I'm just in the process of gathering the evidence I'll need to prove I've been living as a woman and I need to also send in my driving license. I just need to order a replacement seeing as it was stolen along with my purse. As soon as I get the new one though I should be all set to send in my GRC application. Then it's down to the Gender Recognition Panel whether I get to legally be recognised as a female. It is a pain but it's essentially the last furlong of a very long race. Once I get my GRC and my new birth certificate with it then I'll legally be a woman. It's strange that I need a bit of paper to confirm what I already know but once I do get that piece of paper then my journey through transition will be complete.
Yesterday I went to see a psychic. I'm quite sceptical about things like that but I do have a very open mind towards it too. I like to believe in things like an afterlife but logic dictates that there isn't one. To think that we all end up in eternity with our loved ones though is a comforting thought. The Psychic is a woman called Di and she's very good. First she started talking about my granddad and that had me sobbing. She told me that my granddad knew that I'd changed things in my life and that I was different to the person he remembered. He was proud of me though and he just wanted me to live my life and be happy. Apparently he was saying 'You're mortal, just live life!'. My granddad died before I even 'came out' to anyone and it's always eaten at me. I just wanted to know what he'd have thought about my transition and whether he'd have accepted it. I think I've gotten my answer. Di then talked about my grandma. Apparently she thought a lot about me and was proud of the way I'd supported my parents in the pub. She was looking out for me. I was still sobbing at this point. It was just the idea that my grandparents were there, it was an amazingly comforting thought. Di then went on to talk about my future. Apparently children are going to feature (possibly through my future teaching career) and I'm going to meet someone this year, possibly in September when I start my next college course. I need to start eating healthier and I need to exercise. She said lots of things and a lot of it rung true in my life. I'm still a sceptic about a lot of things but I'm more of a believer than I was.
The reason I've mentioned my purse is that it's loss links in directly with the next stage of my transition! I filled out my application for a Gender Recognition Certificate (GRC) today. I've got my two medical reports and I've got my statutory declaration signed by a solicitor. I'm just in the process of gathering the evidence I'll need to prove I've been living as a woman and I need to also send in my driving license. I just need to order a replacement seeing as it was stolen along with my purse. As soon as I get the new one though I should be all set to send in my GRC application. Then it's down to the Gender Recognition Panel whether I get to legally be recognised as a female. It is a pain but it's essentially the last furlong of a very long race. Once I get my GRC and my new birth certificate with it then I'll legally be a woman. It's strange that I need a bit of paper to confirm what I already know but once I do get that piece of paper then my journey through transition will be complete.
Yesterday I went to see a psychic. I'm quite sceptical about things like that but I do have a very open mind towards it too. I like to believe in things like an afterlife but logic dictates that there isn't one. To think that we all end up in eternity with our loved ones though is a comforting thought. The Psychic is a woman called Di and she's very good. First she started talking about my granddad and that had me sobbing. She told me that my granddad knew that I'd changed things in my life and that I was different to the person he remembered. He was proud of me though and he just wanted me to live my life and be happy. Apparently he was saying 'You're mortal, just live life!'. My granddad died before I even 'came out' to anyone and it's always eaten at me. I just wanted to know what he'd have thought about my transition and whether he'd have accepted it. I think I've gotten my answer. Di then talked about my grandma. Apparently she thought a lot about me and was proud of the way I'd supported my parents in the pub. She was looking out for me. I was still sobbing at this point. It was just the idea that my grandparents were there, it was an amazingly comforting thought. Di then went on to talk about my future. Apparently children are going to feature (possibly through my future teaching career) and I'm going to meet someone this year, possibly in September when I start my next college course. I need to start eating healthier and I need to exercise. She said lots of things and a lot of it rung true in my life. I'm still a sceptic about a lot of things but I'm more of a believer than I was.
2013 - The Year of the Surgeons Knife
When I saw in 2013 just over a year ago I knew that the coming year would see my dream of waking up a girl come true. I'd had my Gender Reassignment Surgery date set since September 2012 and so I eagerly awaited the 25th March 2013. When it came it was an experience like no other and it changed me. The op itself was fairly straight forward and I went down to theatre at around 3:30pm. I can remember waking up in recovery thinking that I'd woken up in the middle of the op. I was surrounded by doctors and nurses and my first words were simply, 'Is it done?'. Most people claim to cry with happiness the moment they woke from surgery but that never happened with me. I was relieved that I'd woken up, relieved that it was all done but there were no tears, not then at least.
The following week at Charing Cross Hospital in London was a truly amazing experience. At first I hated it. It was the boredom that got to me and the loneliness. I was on the ward with two other trans patients but in those first couple of days they were very ill following Colon-Vaginplastys. It wasn't until they started to get better during the later part of the week that we all began to connect and share experiences. That meant that those last 3 or 4 days in hospital were fantastic.
Once I got discharged my recovery began and in those first few weeks it was hard. I really found dilation a struggle and the general process of recovering from a major operation was alien to me. I'm not the most active of people but I like to know that I can do things and suddenly being incapacitated was something I really struggled with.
My second operation was my Breast Augmentation. It was never something I was expecting but when it was offered I couldn't really turn it down. I'd managed a small B Cup after 3 years on hormones and that wasn't really enough for me. After B.A. I went up to a large C Cup which is much better. The recovery from that op was a bit quicker and I'm pretty much fully recovered now.
I had my B.A. on the 24th October which was just a day out from the 7 month anniversary of my G.R.S.! Both surgeries were hard in their own ways but I regret neither of them. I'm so much more happier now and I feel that they've benefited my life considerably.
Some may consider G.R.S. not worthy of NHS funding and I KNOW that there are many who are against B.A. on the NHS for trans patients. In regards to G.R.S. it's no exaggeration to say that it saved my life and surely that is the purpose of the NHS. In regards to B.A. my life is so much better since and surely that is also a purpose of the NHS. I've paid my national insurance and taxes for the past fifteen years so why shouldn't I get treatment on the NHS that both saved and improved my life?!
So, 2013, what a year, what a truly amazing year! However great it was though, 2014 promises to be just as amazing. I've set the ball rolling regarding my Gender Recognition Certificate which will give me a new birth certificate with Female on it. I've got my exams in June and I should (hopefully) be starting my Access course in September. This should coincide with the start of the application process for University in 2015! That's a scary thought. This time last year I hadn't given a second thought about going back to school and now I'm thinking about University! In fact I can actually say that I could be starting at University next year. Now that IS a scary thought!! All in all 2014 is a year full of possibility and that's my kind of year!
The following week at Charing Cross Hospital in London was a truly amazing experience. At first I hated it. It was the boredom that got to me and the loneliness. I was on the ward with two other trans patients but in those first couple of days they were very ill following Colon-Vaginplastys. It wasn't until they started to get better during the later part of the week that we all began to connect and share experiences. That meant that those last 3 or 4 days in hospital were fantastic.
Once I got discharged my recovery began and in those first few weeks it was hard. I really found dilation a struggle and the general process of recovering from a major operation was alien to me. I'm not the most active of people but I like to know that I can do things and suddenly being incapacitated was something I really struggled with.
My second operation was my Breast Augmentation. It was never something I was expecting but when it was offered I couldn't really turn it down. I'd managed a small B Cup after 3 years on hormones and that wasn't really enough for me. After B.A. I went up to a large C Cup which is much better. The recovery from that op was a bit quicker and I'm pretty much fully recovered now.
I had my B.A. on the 24th October which was just a day out from the 7 month anniversary of my G.R.S.! Both surgeries were hard in their own ways but I regret neither of them. I'm so much more happier now and I feel that they've benefited my life considerably.
Some may consider G.R.S. not worthy of NHS funding and I KNOW that there are many who are against B.A. on the NHS for trans patients. In regards to G.R.S. it's no exaggeration to say that it saved my life and surely that is the purpose of the NHS. In regards to B.A. my life is so much better since and surely that is also a purpose of the NHS. I've paid my national insurance and taxes for the past fifteen years so why shouldn't I get treatment on the NHS that both saved and improved my life?!
So, 2013, what a year, what a truly amazing year! However great it was though, 2014 promises to be just as amazing. I've set the ball rolling regarding my Gender Recognition Certificate which will give me a new birth certificate with Female on it. I've got my exams in June and I should (hopefully) be starting my Access course in September. This should coincide with the start of the application process for University in 2015! That's a scary thought. This time last year I hadn't given a second thought about going back to school and now I'm thinking about University! In fact I can actually say that I could be starting at University next year. Now that IS a scary thought!! All in all 2014 is a year full of possibility and that's my kind of year!
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