True Terror, The Return?

What Sleep Paralysis feels like!

About fifteen years ago I began suffering with sleep paralysis. I was going through a lot of stuff and I struggled to keep it all together but keep it together I did and so the side effect was the sleep paralysis. Basically, sleep paralysis occurs when you are either just dropping off to sleep or (as in my case) when you are just waking up. In my case I would begin to regain conciousness but I wouldn't beable to move my body. I would be paralysed. Sometimes I would sense something else in my room with me getting closer to my bed. I would feel defenceless because I wouldn't be able to move yet this monster would be getting closer to me. If you've ever experienced it then you will agree that it is simply terrifying. Because you are semi-concious you believe that it's all real. It also seems to continue for a long time!

I would experience sleep paralysis about every 2-3 months but then one day, about 10 years ago it just stopped. That was until last night when it happened again. It was terrifying and it's worried me a little bit. I have some idea why I had sleep paralysis because I think it's because I'm missing my family. I've felt incredibly homesick for the last couple of days and whether it's playing on my mind, that could explain it.

I am enjoying University but there are days when I do feel really alone. I've made friends, there are a few of my flatmates I really get on with and I've made friends on my course. Our flat isn't as close as I'd like though. Other flats seem to have really bonded. It is something I perhaps regret about moving into the quiet block but it is the only regret. None of my food has gone missing, the kitchen is tidy and the only noise I get is from other blocks. Also, I do like my flatmates.

I guess that I like to think I'm a lone wolf on this journey through life but as I get older I begin to feel lonely more than I ever used to. I need to feel a part of something and I need people to count on me. I need to feel useful which is why I'm always willing to help people.