The Longest Time.

One of the things I've done to get myself prepared is to put a lot of info onto my IPad. I've taken screenshots of everything and organised it all into an album so I can read it easier and in order. I realised one thing last night though, I realised how desperate I am to have the op. Don't get me wrong, I've been desperate for it ages. Now though, it's the NEXT thing. Before, I always had the next target. More often than not, especially in the last two years, the next target was another GIC appointment. These appointments were often pretty pointless in the grand scheme of things. I didn't get a great deal out of them but they were necessary to ensure a smooth RLE and to ensure I made it through the GIC process. They were a target I had to aim for and they prevented me from realising how far the end target was. I'm lucky, I know that. My transition has been far quicker than a lot get it. Everybody's experience is relative to each individual though and I personally would've struggled with a longer wait. Knowing I still have a while yet means that I get depressed when I read my info. Im kinda at that stage when I'm over the euphoria of actually getting a surgery date and I'm still too far away from the date to really picture it. Each night, on my way home from work, I utter three words. I say these words at right round the same part of my journey too. I smile and I say 'Another day down.' I know that I'm another day closer. On a Thursday I'll imagine driving home at that moment, weeks from then, as I drive home from work for the last time for 12 weeks. I'll imagine how I'll feel knowing that I'm just 4 days from having the op. It's thinking things like this that get me through the time, get me through this wait. I do get a little bit depressed sometimes. I know that I will have the surgery but I still can't quite imagine having it if you know what I mean. It's a weird feeling. The trouble is that I can remember feeling like this before I went full-time. I had that date in my mind but the months before it just seemed to drag and I'd get so depressed. That happened ok though and I'm sure that my surgery will get here and when it does I'll look back on now, look back on these moments and smile. One thing that is getting me through the wait is my big pink box. It's my box of stuff I'm collecting for my hospital stay and the following recovery period. I've got baby wipes, nappy sacks, panty liners, Cotton Pantys, bubble bath, shower gel, a couple of flannels, a towel, ear plugs, a couple of toiletry bags, toothbrush and my douching kit. To say that I'm determined to be prepared is perhaps a mild understatement. I've got a checklist and each month I get some more supplies. To be honest, I don't need a lot more although I've already just about filled my box! If anyone has any tips on what I may need or what helped you with recovery or the hospital stay, just let me know. Any help is greatly appreciated.