Nothing To Be Nervous About

     So, I'm on the home straight, the last stretch of highway. Yesterday I went to Nottingham GIC for a very important appointment. I saw 2 doctors, Dr Murjan and Dr Bouman. The first appointment with Dr Murjan was my 2nd recommendation appointment. To be referred for GRS (Gender Realignment Surgery) you need the recommendations of 2 separate doctors. I had my 1st recommendation from Dr Bouman now I just needed my 2nd recommendation. I was incredibly nervous which is stupid really. It is very rare for someone to be refused a 2nd recommendation. It does happen though although had it happened to me, it would have been a travesty of epic proportions. I'm pretty much experiencing a perfect transition. I'm working in a job where they are unaware of my history, I'm in a committed relationship with a guy who cares for me, my family are pretty much supportive and I pass pretty seamlessly in society. In fact it's nearly 2 years since my gender has been questioned by anyone. I was so nervous though. When she said that she was supporting my referral for GRS I instantly filled up and began shaking. It was a hugely emotional moment in my life. The wave of relief was amazing and it's a feeling that I'll never forget.

     After my appointments, I celebrated in Nottingham with Jamie. We had a bit of a pub crawl and we actually had a couple of deep conversations concerning the future. They were conversations we maybe needed to have although I'm sure we'll talk about the same things in the future.

     Today I'm experiencing a bit of a comedown. I feel kinda depressed when I should be the happiest girl in the world. I should be smiling yet I just want to cry. I'm on the home straight, the final hurdles await. I'm not having 2nd thoughts about it or anything, I'm do glad about yesterday. Maybe it is just a comedown effect. The emotions I experienced yesterday were so varied that some form of comedown had to be expected I guess. I'll be fine in a few days and then I can start looking forward.

     In terms of what happens next, Dr Bouman will write to the 2 doctors who perform GRS in the UK. Dr Bellringer and Dr Thomas are the only doctors who perform the op and it's a bit of a lottery who you get. I'm not too bothered although London and Dr Bellringer would be better from a distance perspective. The aftercare at Brighton (Dr Thomas) is apparently superb though. Anyway, I should hear from one of them in around 4-6 months regarding a preliminary appointment. At that appointment they'll talk me through the process and give me an examination. They may recommend hair removal which I'm praying I don't need. It hurts when I get my face lasered so it's sure to be extremely painful down there. At that aointment I should get a date for surgery although this date is subject to change. At the moment there is a waiting period of 6 months so working on this timeline I should be looking at a GRS date of somewhere between April - June next year. That's being realistic and those predictions could change, hopefully for the better. It' s just a waiting game now I guess.