So Christmas is upon on us. For me, it means having to wade myself through copious amounts of Turkey, Sprouts and Mince Pies (I'm a chef). Despite that I always try and enjoy Christmas Day. I think that it's important to make the best of things and be happy. Everyone in the kitchen is in a similar boat with somewhere better to be. Working Christmas also makes you realize what matters and what the true meaning of Christmas is. In my case acceptance is a big part of the festive period. From the cards with sister and daughter on the front to the presents of jewelry and perfume. It shows that my family accept me for who I am and that is amazing.
Despite all the positives surrounding this time of year, there always seems a negative. For the past 3 years my brother seems to throw a dampener on my Christmas. From the aftershave he brought me in 2009, to the lack of a present from my nephew (his 3 year old son at the time) last year. This year it was the lack of a 'Merry Christmas' that brought me to tears on Christmas Day. When I got up yesterday morning I made a point of texting my immediate family a simple 'Merry Christmas, Love Em x x x'. It literally took me 2 minutes but I think that it was the thought that counted. It really upset me that my brother didn't text me back with a reply. He couldn't bring himself to send me a simple text. I got a present this year (a gorgeous set of matching earrings and necklace), but I think that my sister in law got me that. I also think that it was her who wrote the card and tags. I actually got a picture this morning from her of my nephew and new born niece and that really made me feel better. I do think that she is trying but I'm unable to say the same about my brother and that breaks my heart somewhat. I'm not asking for all consuming acceptance, just an acknowledgement that I still exist and that I'm still part of his family.
I know that in the grand scheme of things I've done brilliantly with my family. My sisters both seem to accept me and my younger sisters partner was fantastic the other day when I popped round delivering presents. My elder sisters children all seem to have accepted that I'm their Auntie now while my parents have been phenominal.
Anyway, I'll keep trying, but sooner or later there's going to become a point when I can't do any more and it will be his loss. I'm seeing him on New Years Day so you never know. The New Year might bring a new start.
To all of my readers and followers and to anyone who may just find this blog in passing.....
X X X MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR AND ALL THE BEST FOR 2012 X X X
Merry Christmas Emma. xxx
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