Officially Post-Op, An Update

      Hello everyone I am ok. Of course if you're my friend on FB you'll know this due to my frequent status updates. I am alive and everything went ok. I went up to theatre at 3:30 Monday afternoon and I was back on the ward for 7:30 Monday evening. Apparently there was a bit of concern when I went deathly pale in recovery but everything went to plan. I'm sore but I have noticed that the bruising has settled down a bit just over the course of a couple of days. When you first see the surgical site it is a bit of a shock. There are 3 suture lines going downwards from the groin with a bruised lump in the middle. From what I can gather this is what will become the labia. Just below this there's a yellow sort of mound that's the vaginal packing. Although it looks a mess you can see the basic shape.

     A few things have surprised me about this whole experience. For a couple of days after surgery I got phantom limb syndrome. I was sure I could feel it and it even itched a couple of times. Of course what was recently hanging down between my legs is now up in my body somewhere! I've been having trouble opening my bowels (as of writing I'm on laxatives) and I've passed a bit of time by sitting on the toilet trying to, to put it bluntly, poo. Sitting there, glancing down to see an empty space is really strange at first. Remember, I've seen a penis there for the last 31 years. Although I've known it was coming nothing can quite prepare you for that feeling. It's not regret, I don't regret anything. There are certain things I would've preferred not to go through. The hospital stay is pretty tortuous at times, the loss of dignity and the ability to do simple things like pick stuff up off the floor. Talking about dignity, theres nothing more undignified than walking around with your wee strapped to your leg in a bag!

     I'm not complaining, it has been a unique experience though. Everyone will get through it differently. I do count myself lucky that I'm pretty much okay. My birth twins (Mr Bellringer did two other ops that day) both had to have colonvaginaplastys. That's when there isn't enough penile skin to form the vagina so they have to take part of your colon. It makes you very ill. I've been in the bed in-between them so I've pretty much suffered with them. It doesn't half make you appreciate your own life because it looks like a pretty dire experience.

     I am ready to go home that's true. As I get closer to my discharge day of Monday though it does get kinda scary. As much as I'm disliking my hospital stay, the nurses are really nice and if anything does go wrong at least I'm only a buzzer press from help. Somehow the thought of being away from that help scares me. I'll be fine though and I am looking forward to getting back to my own bed and seeing the family. The phone calls with my mum and the texts from my sisters have pretty much kept me going this past few days. The flowers I received from my parents the day after surgery were really surprising but gave me that boost I kinda needed.

     Before I go home I have a pretty busy weekend. Tomorrow morning my packing comes out and I'll begin dilating. On Sunday Iffy, the nurse specialist, will pop in to see me to make sure everything's ok and to give me the all clear for home then at midnight on Sunday, my catheter will come out. If I can wee then my discharge will be set. Added onto this my parents are coming to London tomorrow. They're staying for the weekend before going back with me on Monday so they'll be visiting Saturday and Sunday.

     Well, I hope this little updates ok. I've been writing a full length account so I'll post that in the weeks after I get home. Hopefully the next time I post I'll be in the comfort of my own home