5 Years Of Blogging:-The Second Outing

When I returned to England in January I was determined to get out as Emma again. It was definately one of my top priorities so I did as I did on my first night out and I went out with the Northern Angels onto Manchesters Canal Street and my 7th blog post was born. Entitled, rather simply, April Northern Angels Meal it was posted on Saturday 18th April 2009.

Wednesday 15th May 2009 and my second foray into the outside world as Emma. It was also my first time out in 13 months. Why I left it so long had a lot to do with work. Not only could I not go out dressed but I couldn't dress at all. 8 months without Emma, and it nearly killed me. So on arriving back in this country in January I decided that Emma would make a reappearance on the outside world pretty soon. 3 months later and she did. I noticed Lisa (organiser of the monthly Northern Angels meal on Manchester's Canal Street) had posted a message on the Angels Forum site detailing plans for the upcoming April meal. I had gone with the Northern Angels on my first and last night out and had really enjoyed myself so I decided to take my chance. I quickly booked the time off work (I had to beg), booked a hotel room at the Rembrandt Annex and a week later I was driving into Manchester.

I checked into the Rembrandt with 2 1/2 hours until I was supposed to meet the rest of the girls at Tribecca. I shaved my legs, hands and face, showered and proceeded to get ready. By 7:20 pm I was all dressed and was standing behind the front door to the hotel. I was kinda nervous and scared and stood there 5 minutes although it felt longer. I kept hearing footsteps walk past outside which put me off a little. I had had one or two minor disasters on my first night out. Boob slippage and losing a false nail were the main things. I had prepared this time though. I'd invested in some decent adhesive for my boobs, formed a decent cleavage which wasn't in much danger of moving and instead of false nails I'd just painted my own. I was still wary about the possible disasters that could happen. A main one which would've broke my confidence would've been if I'd gotten agro off people in the street. It was this that was preventing me from opening the front door. Eventually though I did and stepped out into the cold Manchester evening.

One of my best memories of my last night out had been the feel of the breeze on my legs and the wind in my hair. It's just a great feeling. Anyway that's what I got while I walked down to Tribecca, the breeze on my legs and the wind in my hair. It brought back memories and instantly I was a little more at ease. I walked down and a couple of lads passed me but didn't say anything. They didn't even react. I got into Tribecca and after a quick look around I couldn't see anyone I recognised so I just sood at the bar and waited. Very soon though I noticed someone gesturing at me from upstairs. I guessed that they must've been part of the group so I acknowledged and went upstairs. I was introduced to Tina and Emma, two very nice T-Girls. I learned later that Tina was a postman and Emma was a rugby player in their other lives. It just goes to show that anybody from any walk of life can be a T-Girl. We waited in Tribecca until the other T-Girls arrived. I recognized Lisa and Kate who had both been at the last meal I attended way back in March 2008. Both had brought their partners Jan and Shirley respectively. A couple of T-Girls I hadn't met before had also arrived.

From Tribecca we walked down to the far end of Canal Street to Taurus and the venue of the meal. While walking there I chatted with Lisa. I told her a brief bit about Spain and why I came back. I also told her how happy I was to be back out. Round about this time it started to feel like the last 13 months hadn't happened, like I hadn't been away. But I had and I was determined to make up for lost time.

At Taurus we were quickly seated. I recognized Taurus as it had been the venue of the last meal on my first night out. We were also on the same table. I sat next to Jan and Justine. Just before we ordered a couple more T-Girls arrived. During the meal I was mainly just listening to the various conversations around me. I felt a bit like the new girl again and I suppose in a way I was. During the meal one of the strangest (nice strange) things happened. I started talking to Jan about heels. It was strange but as I said, in a nice way. I've never really talked to another woman as Emma. At my first meal, Astrid had brought her partner but I never really got a chance to talk with her, so speaking to a woman about shoes was unexplored teritory for me. It was great talking to her. For the meal I had Cajun Salmon, which was nice just very hot. I could feel myself sweating as I was eating it so I ate about half and gave up. The T-Girl opposite me was a journalist from Warrington and throughout the meal I had one or two conversations with her about Widnes (I used to work there and it's just down the road from Warrington) and Sparkle. She was very nice. I also spoke a little to Lisa during the meal.

After the meal we payed up and headed off to the Rembrandt and the location of the Northern Concord meeting. It's held there every Wednesday and is a gathering of T-Girls of all shapes, sizes and styles. Mary organizes it and is really nice. We stayed at the Rembrandt for about an hour, during which time I got to talk to Jan again about shoes. She advised me to get some wedges which are now on my shopping list. I also listened in as she advised another T-Girl on Botox.

After Rembrandt a few of us (me, Emma, Tina, Mandy, Kate and Shirley) headed to Naps. Naps is good but was still etched in my mind from last year. It wasn't too bad tonight though  Being in Naps gave me a great chance to get to know a few of the other girls. I was more confident by this time so I told them a bit about me. I was in Naps until about 1:30am, I think and it was a great end to a brilliant night.

I hate to compare my two nights with the Northern Angels but if I had too I would say that this one was better. I had no disasters, I was more confident, my shoes didn't hurt, I was just happy to be out again after a very long 13 months. There had been times during my time in Spain that I truly wondered if I would ever dress again let alone get out. My first night out way back on Wednesday 19th March 2008 had become a distant memory and there were times I had to look at the photos just to convince myself that it'd actually happened. Being back out though was a great thing for me and the relief was over-whelming. As I said earlier, not being myself in Spain nearly killed me. At one time things got worse than they could ever get and I saw only one way out. Stupid I know, but if anything it made me realise that I can't exist without Emma. I'm a T-Girl and always will be and the feeling of being out with the girls as one of the girls is a brilliant feeling. I can't wait to go out again. Sparkle is even looking a lot more promising than it did a couple of months ago. After 13 months behind closed doors, hidden away even from me, Emma is back and she's here to stay!

Looking back, that night was about more than just an outing. It confirmed a few things in my mind. It was this night out that led onto the biggest thing I've ever done in my life. Everything I've done in the past 3 years can be traced back to this point and I have no doubt in my mind that had I not chosen this moment to 'come out' then I would not be only 25 days away from my GRS.