I'll Be Douching Before You Know It!

So, in 23 weeks, possibly in an hour or two, I'll be heading down to the operating theartre for my surgery. The time is going really fast, or t least it seems to be. I think that the pattern of my week has something to do with it. I'm off Mondays and Tuesdays so they go quick. Wednesdays and Thursdays are quiet days at work so they seem to fly by. When I get to Friday I have the fact that I only have two days until Sunday which is only a half day at work. Then I'm back to Monday again and celebrating another week knocked off! At the moment it is all about knocking the days off and to a certain extent I am wishing my life away. At times, March the 25th seems so far away that it does get me down a bit. To think that I turned down the 25th of November! I would've been stoping hormones today. In preparation for the op you have to stop taking the hormones 6 weeks prior. This is to prevent blood clots. I'm not exactly looking forward to stoping the hormones as some have reported decrease in breast size, increase in body hair and mood swings. It is an important part of the process though and kind of signals in the final 6 weeks.

I have my reasons for waiting until March, I've already gone over them in this blog. It will still get to me though, especially over the coming weeks. March is the right time for a number of reasons. Financially I'll be better equipped to handle having my wages cut by 3/4's due to sick pay. Physically I should be fitter and (hopefully) a little thinner. I'll be better prepared in terms of physical things I'll need and I'll be better prepared psychologically.

Talking about the physical things I'll need, I've brought my douching kit. Once I've had the

op, I'll be required to douch. Despite the fact that my vagina should look like the real thing, it'll have one or two differences. Firstly, it won't be self lubricating and secondly, it won't be self-cleaning. Due to the nature of the op and the risk of infection, hygiene is going to be a huge part of my life. I'll have to douch every day and so the douching kit (along with the dilating kit the hospital will give me) will become a major part of my life. Talking about dilating, in the first 6-8 weeks I believe, I'll have to dilate 3 times a day! Dilating will consist of 10 minutes with a small dilator before a 20 minute session with the larger one. If you conbine that with the post-dilation cleanup, you're talking about 3+ hours a day! It's not something I'm dreading, It'll give me a purpose during the 3 month layoff after the op. I feel kinda stupid for thinking about this kind of stuff at this stage. But then I want to be as prepared as I can be so maybe it's not so stupid.

I actually did a spot of online shopping last night. I sometimes use a site called everything5pounds.com. It's essentially an online version of Primark but for a girl with a low budget it's quite a cool site. They do do a lot of tat but (like Primark) there are one or two hidden gems. Well, last night I shopped with half a mind on my 'leaving hospital' outfit. I only spent £15 on a dress, a top and a cardigan. One of the tips I've had is that you should wear something loose and comfortable when you leave hospital and so I thought a dress with a pair of loose fitting leggings. If I had a car journey home then a pair of jogging bottoms and a baggy t-shirt would have probably been best. As it is, I'll have a taxi ride through London, then a 3 hour train ride home so I need to look presentable. It's funny how you have to think about things like this, it seems like the smallest matters. I do think that one things for certain. I'll never have been as prepared for anything in my life as much as I'll be prepared for this!