Moving On

I read a blog post tonight that's really made me think. It's struck a real chord with how I've been feeling recently. It's by a lady called Lisa. She attended the Nottingham GIC and is a few months ahead of me. She says that she's heading off to Thailand in June for the op and I'll certainly be thinking of her. One thing she did focus on in her post is moving on and the future

. 'In truth the need I once had to search for answers and find my path has disappeared now I am on the right path for me.'

and...

 'Whenever I read of a friend moving on in the past I had many feelings come over me. They were of loss, confusion and also I guess a bit of jealousy that they were in fact moving forward.

Now I understand why they did move on.'

are two excerpts that I can relate to a lot. I actually commented that once we accept our past we can embrace the future. I really feel that moving on is something I need to do now and it's something that I'm ready for. That's not to say that I'm going to stop blogging, because I do still enjoy it. I do think that it's maybe a good idea to remove myself from the support forums though. In truth it's something I've been thinking of doing for a while. Certain things about them have started to annoy me and certain posters are people I maybe don't need in my life. That's not to say that they haven't been a great source of help for me. In fact I would advise any young person struggling with gender issues to log onto these sites...

The Angels Forum and
Roses Forum

Both have been so good for me and such help when I felt like the loneliest person in the world.

I guess that the straw that's broken the camels back is a poster on Angels who chose to quote parts of a recent post (Not On My Doorstep). She chose to highlight a few remarks I made about not wanting to group myself with the attendees. Looking back I think it was perhaps wrong for me to say this but it's a part of something extremely emotional that I was experiencing. She of course completely disregarded all of the other more positive parts of the post I made. She completely disregarded the comments I made regarding my deep guilt at what I was feeling and the inner turmoil I was enduring. On a support site I expect a bit more support. Of course, this latest thing was just one small flake on a vast snowball that had been rolling down a hill for sometime.

     I do hope that these recent posts haven't offended anyone and that they are seen for what they are. This blog is essentially my support. I've written so much personal stuff on this and the 1st volume of my blog. I've often written down stuff before I've even told my family. It still remains a very important part of my life and I'm sure that it'll play a very big part in my life over the coming year. I guess that this 'moving on' period is the next logical stage in 'the not so secret life of emma'.